Participate

Reject the online cave, go out, participate in life...

This past week I’ve sat down at my desk to write several times and every single time I got a few sentences down, stopped in irritation, and deleted the whole thing. It was my fault of course. Instead of spending my time reading, writing, or doing productive work, I allowed myself to become mired in online arguments, idiotic opinions, and downright nihilistic depravity.

Every time I sat down to write my goal was to answer the muck I was engaging with, ranging from misguided nonsense to downright evil blasphemous ideology. It’s one of my faults, I have a sick need to engage with intellectual trash. Maybe it’s due to my personality type, my Myers-Briggs is ENTP, which supposedly makes me someone who enjoys arguing, or my own depraved masochistic need to inflict psychological pain on myself. Either way, I wanted to answer all the nonsense but every time I started I became more irritated and felt disgusting about the whole thing. So, almost every night this week, I wrote a bit, read it over, deleted it, and went to bed with all my work unfinished, because the way I was approaching the situation was misguided and in the end, my complete inaction was the right answer.

Thursday I drove my family up north, we visited a sister church for the Feast of Ascension and a visit from our Bishop. We had a wonderful experience. The church was beautiful and the choir was amazing. Most of all it was hard not to notice that the church was overflowing on a Thursday morning. Not overflowing with old timers, but with young families and children, our future. I can’t give exact numbers but I think it’s safe to say that at least 60% of the attendees were younger than me, and I’m 42 years old and several members of the parish told me that the Church is even more full for regular Sunday Liturgy. It was amazing to see and be part of a celebration with a great community of people who share values, and beliefs, and are working towards the future.

Friday morning and afternoon I spent working out and taking care of my front yard. It’s been raining a lot and my grass was out of control, looking scraggly and wild. I’m trying to teach myself how to garden, but sadly just like cooking, I lack any sort of innate talent for growing things, I’ve managed to keep and spread two jasmine plants that I hope to wrap up and around my columns. That evening I went out with some work friends for a going-away dinner. Almost all of them are younger than me and it is the early stages of their adult lives. It was great spending time with young men and women who are mature, and professional and have their plans and life together, much more so than what I had when I was their age. Beer and liquor was drunk, food was eaten, and we celebrated an end and a new beginning for a close friend moving on in her life.

Saturday started early. My daughter had her annual dance recital so we ate a small breakfast and took her to the performance center, dropped her off, and spent a few hours shopping and buying flowers for the actual recital. The show was excellent. The dance studio my daughter attends is amazing, started and ran by a young woman, who is not only a fantastic dancer herself, but a great teacher, and mentor to all the young kids who are her students. The choreography, the music, and the dance performances were outstanding, a year's worth of work for most of the kids, and years worth for some of the older members of the studio. It was a great experience seeing the work, dedication, and artistic work all of them poured into their performance. We continued the day with a nice lunch with friends followed by a last-minute decision to attend vespers and a dinner invite with friends from our church.

Now it’s Sunday afternoon. I got home from Church a few hours ago, we stayed late to attend a class on Genesis, and of course, we spent another hour or so hanging out and chatting with everyone. I have some laundry in the washer and depending on how I feel I might go out back and bag up the pile of wet leaves I raked and abandoned two weeks ago before the rain started.

This piece has a point. I’m not just writing about how great the last couple of days have been. Sitting here, thinking about everything, and looking back over the last 72 hours made me realize that I don’t need to answer every stupid challenge or insult. My life is answer enough and the real world, the flesh and blood world, the world of birds and beasts, air and water, friends and family, is all that matters. The internet is fake, it is the domain of nothing, and the home of bitter angry nihilistic doomsayers. It is a cave for the mentally stunted and the spiritually blind. Essays, screeds, opinions, podcasts, and endless conversation is nearly meaningless, and often spirituality crippling.

You need to be part of the world. You need to go out and participate. You need to laugh with friends, drink good drinks, worship together, share great meals, and love each other. You do not change the world with textual masturbation, no matter how intelligent and how intellectual. You change the world through participation, through being present. And without a doubt, after the last couple of days, I can safely say that we are winning!